Apologies Not Accepted

Shall you scream to me "ego"
Shall you scream to me "hardheaded"
Shall I walk out that door behind you
never will I turn my head around

Never will I turn my head around!

Because that's not how it works
Apologetic, sympathetic
Because your tongue doesn't say mere words
I am not pathetic

I am not pathetic

Shunt out from me life shall I make you
Shall you say that magical shit word, shall I slap you
If you hate me, hate me through and through
Don't stop half way, 'cause that is not what I will do

That is not what I will do

I have been on the front line of verbal abuse
By gangs of shit-studded homophobs
Been there with friends, been there alone
Shall you add to that total of fuck-heads
For a fuck up reason to fuck with my...

Watch closely into my eyes
And see whether my iris change size
Affected by judgments, absence, presence

Newsflash: It doesn't
'Cause I couldn't care less

'Cause I couldn't care less

I myself do mistakes
But I don't expect to be forgiven
But begging things to be fixed?
A work of a fag is apparently written

A work of a fag is apparently written

Be a man, hate me through and through
Be a man, hate me for all that I do
Don't hold back, Dont turn back
Because what more can I say to you?

Good Luck. (Full Stop)

Dear Monarchal Adults

Should I explain how hard it is to be a teenager nowadays?
With Questions of: am I straight, bisexual or gay?

What do you know, Sir?
As far as I remember, your time was still wearing chastity belts to the loo
And use leaves to wipe your white ass and clean up your balls
Only to you I shall explain Sir, the hardships of teenagers nowadays
Only to you.

I shall explain how hard it is to be a teenager nowadays,
Of the easiest question that some of us could not answer
Shall their friends ask about their married fathers
having parents of the same sex: Legalized marriage of the Gays.

I shall explain how hard it is to be a teenager nowadays,
Of the easiest question that some of us could not answer
When single mothers make haste to sperm banks
making mini-bastards of anonymous fathers

I shall explain how hard it is to be a teenager nowadays,
When your only source of Warmth contributes to the count of suicide death toll
Leaving children behind
To live in this cruel life without guide

Shall one day conventional friends come knocking
Hence ask conventionally "Why are thou parents different?"

Can you help them, Sir? Can you help them answer?

Should I explain how hard it is to be a teenager nowadays?
Trying to find our identity in the messed up world
Like lice trapped in tangled pubic hair

Like lice trapped in tangled pubic hair

Jangan Jadi Bodoh

Jangan Jadi Bodoh

Pathetic worldly stunts over wasted Divine Wisdom
These people are called "Rempits"

Jangan Jadi Bodoh
Devoting your lives spreading yourselves to be penetrated by Ignorance
These people are called "Bohsias"

Jangan Jadi Bodoh
Those people who are still sleeping in fertile-comforts of luxury
The Sensualists whose lives based on how the world can stuff them
And shot it back out from their asses

Jangan Jadi Bodoh
Blinded by your ease of life, of a Temporary life
Though you already know there is another life waiting for you
After the one that you lived in with comfort

Jangan Jadi Apa?

Jangan Jadi...

Wake up and smell that Shit the world is being filled with,
The corruption spreading like veins pumping fast within the heart of a Black Horse
Eating each of us up from within, ruining Idealistic Individuals to take place
Within this Community that we no longer familiar with

Jangan Jadi Bodoh
Refer back to our Old Texts and see how far we have deviated to
Stop the pointing of hands and make amends.

Shall this poem ends and we go back to where we stand?
There is a Malaysian context to how you are labeled:
Bohsias and Rempits and its Clan

Jangan Jadi Bodoh

An Overheard Foreplay

(Place: Hotel Seri Malaysia. Someone's Hotel Room)

Noisy neighbors I presumed: People shouting in the most unusually vocalized sound,
bed's shackled, pillows thrown around.
A pair of gender shouting, moaning, groaning, whining, whimpering here and there,
I pressed my ears to the wall, a temptation I couldn't bare.

A female voice moans:
To sacrifice my dignity and chastity for this?
With that thing sticking up so small, what are you? Asian?
Oh hear me you small prick, don't make me piss,
Didn't you speak of this affair to your wife across the ocean?

As I lay there on my bed wide-eyed staring onto the ceiling,
A teenage of early years, naive and cared, sins clean from my billing.
Optimistic, they were doing something else other than playing 'doctors',
Cause I couldn't imagine someone with that tone doing someone else's knockers.

A male voice groans:
Alah sayang, don't lah be like this.
I didn't mean it please lah dont be pissed.
I'm sure there is nothing to it, don't you baby worry
Now come back to bed, show me who's your daddy

I closed my eyes in revolt, abhor, disgust, detest
I shut my eyes tight, acting careless
For the deepest condolences I could find
To the wife of the adulterer that should be confined

As I closed my eyes, another voice was now shouting
None belonged to the pair I was listening
Then a slight pause before there was a gunning
Two shots of bullets were heard thundering

As I knew of what had happened,
The Adulterer's wife have jumped into conclusion,
A choice made so wise I would defend,
For killing the whore and even her man.

Now that I shall go to sleep in peace,
That now the bitch has turned to mince,
And the man-whore's brain goes all splattered,
Serves him right that womanizing bastard.

Of Men with Ongoing Prejudice/Why Machines Cannot Replace Humans (Experimental poetry)

Good Evening Sir, My name is Ken.
Your Computer Generated Audio Porn Version 10.
I shall be your erotic partner 21st July Year 2110.

Press 1 for Caucasian, Press 2 for Young Teenage Asian Boy.

You have pressed 1. So suddenly you’re too good for Asian Boys aren’t you, sir?

Press 2 for Young Teenage Asian Boy.

You have pressed 1.

I’m sorry. The number you have dialed is considered racist.

Press 2 for Young Teenage Asian Boy.

Thank you for not being a racist bastard and dialed 2.

I shall describe myself thoroughly for a larger impact of your pleasure.

I am an Asian boy, strong and big.
Shall you are straight, I am also a euniche.
I have flat chest and shoulders like a king.
Between my hips are several things dangling.
If you like for it to be removed, press 1.
Shall you want to maintain my gender, press 2.

You have pressed 1. So you think transvestites are funny aren’t you?

Press 2 to maintain my gender.

You have pressed 1. I’m sorry the number you have dialed is homophobic.

Press 2 to… (hung up)

Good Evening Sir, My name is Ken.
Your Computer Generated Audio Porn Version 10.
I shall be your erotic partner 21st July 2110.

Press 1 for Caucasian, Press 2 for Young Teenage Asian Boy.

The Forbidden Apple and It's Understood Sins

I saw your apparition, an apparition of grace
Of manner killing to those sight of Lust
Oh distance, distance, this gap, this space
When shall I meet you to make me ease at last?

At last we met, though not spoken nor talked
I adore you from Distance, you tease, you dog
As you go unnoticed I approached with haste
Oh, how I stalked your splendor face?

Have I not drop my guard of your splendor face?
Be naming you Angel shall appear cliche
Though I have not met you, and afar I stood
It's due to the barricade that Some has put

That Some has put has made me chosen
Between eternal and your temporal look
It is to shred my heart and make it broken
It is between you or God: With God I stood

It has not been only with you, my beauty
It has been the case with Angels of so many
But it is you who triggered this fingers to tap
And immortalize my desperation for you in a wrap

In a wrap, haven't you begin my journey in poetry
Only you can make me bow from my ego and dignity
Now I comprehended Adam and Eve (when the Devil grins)
You're my Forbidden Apple and It's Understood sins


*Poem is inspired by S.K, a dedication by the humblest of heart.